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          Through the Looking Glass     

                                            The Inside Man  

                                               by Levi Driggs


      Unlike Carl Coffee who jumped at the chance, when Jerry asked me several weeks ago

to write an article I gave it no thought, shot it down with a stern veto.   However, as the weeks

passed I realized I have a viewpoint that no one besides Jerry will ever be able to explain or

even see for that matter.

       I live here, as long as Jerry permits, so I see the day to day operations and improvements

taking place that no one knows, or even cares about.    In fact I am so frequently asked the

question, “What’s it like to live here?” that I try to avoid giving a straight answer.    So now

I will try to answer that question to the best of my abilities, and show you the inner webs of

how the league runs.

       I’ll start off with the obvious, it’s AMAZING.    Wiffle ball all night, spring training starts

whenever I feel like it, and there’s no off season.    All this and so much more is partially the

reason Jerry and I own just about every HR record there is to own.   I can recall countless times
where we have gone to tourneys and hit ten or eleven back-to-back home runs and teams will

come up to us saying, “man, you guys crush the ball.”    That’s how my nickname Crush was

bestowed upon me.  

      This is a product of thousands of games of home run derby in the back yard.    We can’t

even play a regular game anymore because the score will be something crazy like 70-68.   So,

we have modified the rules to one out an inning.   One fair ball that is not an HR and the inning

is over.  Now that’s how you get good fast. 

      Next I oversee, or rather just see, new improvements like fences, lights, and the occasional

field.   Of course I’ll throw in my 2 cents, which is rarely heard and even more rarely used.   Jerry

never gives himself enough recognition, he has to stand on a ladder 25 feet up, relying on an easily

distracted 16 year old, and all while wrestling an eighty pound light into place.   I can’t remember

a time where we’ve gotten done and he said that was easy.   Where’s a Staple's button when you

need it ?

     Those lights need electricity, leaving Jerry to play the part of electrician.   Our breaker box

looks like a spider on steroids, that’s gone mad.   It’s a wonder he has any hair left at all as many

times as its stood on end from being shocked.

       As a self appointed Co-Commissioner, I review every rule change and proposed change.   I

can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to get rid of solid balls and the no sliding rule.   Although

my ideas are never applied I am the guinea pig on all of the changes.   For example, it took hours of

testing to find the best height of the noodle to prevent flat pitching, but give the pitcher a chance.

     The worst part of living on the premier Wiffle ball complex in Central Ohio is the game itself.

I hate to lose, always have and always will.    Having permanent home field advantage just adds to

the frustration of a loss.   The worst feeling is someone coming into my house (literally) and beating

me at my game.   It drives me nuts; if we drop one game out of a three or five game series I’ll stay

up until one or two in the morning soft tossing to myself.  I’ll make up games where I’d have to hit

40 out of 50 out in order to go to bed.   It’s the best and the worst training.  

      I hope this has answered a few of you questions, and remember it never too early to start spring


     Yeah, it’s that serious.                 

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   Comment : replies from the Commissioners are in orange

Levi is way more help than he lets on in this article.  He gets dragged in to help with the plethora of projects - and they are legion.   Shortly we will spend a day or two plugging, seeding, fertilizing and dragging the fields - then several days erecting and patching the 1,500' of fence and 3,000' of cabling, installing the half dozen signs and laying out and securing the 1,000' of foul lines.   Then there is the irrigation equipment to drag out, install and prime - a very big deal (and heavy too).   Levi will then settle into the mowing and watering routine - and he does pretty much all of it - taking the better part of 2 full days a week to complete.  On the backside of all this is the setup of the 4 fields for play and then tear down after the Friday / Sunday games.   Levi does a great job of overseeing most of that also.   The reality is, without Levi this would be too much for me to pull off.   Without him there likely wouldn't be a COWL or FCWL, whatever we call it these days.   Many don't know that although I am Levi's biggest cheerleader - I hate it when he hits more HRs than I do.  I tell him all his 'extra' practice is cheating and we should apply a modifier to his HR total to adjust it accordingly.  But, I want to keep him playing so that is one rule he has won his way on.

On a related note, we do it not only because we love Wiffle ball, but because we truly enjoy sharing our place with our friends and Wiffle ball family - and what better way to enjoy together than friendly games of Wiffle Ball with our 100 closest compadres ? 

03/14/2013 09:23 - Thanks for all your work, both of you.   I have enjoyed playing at your place from the start.  Sent from the Dave's iPhone
03/14/2013 09:44 - ditto that, just like being a kid again, only no fights with your brothers - well, except for PVB i guess.  Tim
03/14/2013 11:37 - ditto ditto above.  we appreciated all you do - looking forward to this year, maybe the new rules will give us a chance.  sent by Eric and his Samsung Galaxy IIS
03/14/2013 1251 - bring on spring baby !   1 month til game time.  TG
03/14/2013 13:03 - Wow, blown away by this article. So well written.
03/14/2013 14:05 - Solid article through and through. I was always curious of the cause of Jerry's rapidly fading hairline, but that was all answered in the text!
03/14/2013 14:05 - Thanks for all the nice comments.  My hair loss, however, is more kid shock induced than electrical shock induced.   Parenting is God's great turn-a-bout is fair play plan.

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